What is the best leadership skill you can develop?
Writing for www.entrepreneur.com, organizational effectiveness consultant Angela Cox recalled a conversation she had with a manager in years past. She was trying to help solve a problem that was causing some conflict among people on her team. She approached her manager with a suggestion, and he immediately became irate. His response? “I would like to stay home in my pajamas all day and have my paycheck mailed to me, but that’s not how life works.”
Years later, she is still struck by the lack of empathy her manager showed her and her team. “His lack of openness, kindness and empathy that day meant that I never viewed him as my leader in any way from that day forward.”
If you want your team to be open with you, she suggested, you need to cultivate empathy so you can truly know them and their needs as their leader. A manager’s job is to help subordinates succeed. Leadership requires empathy and compassion toward the people under your care so you can help them succeed.
Even corporate CEOs recognize the importance of leaders showing empathy. Satya Nadella is the CEO of Microsoft. He brought up the subject, unprompted, in a recent interview in the Harvard Business Review. Care, he said, “is the real currency.”
“What does that care mean? That care means you have to have that empathy and put yourself in the people’s shoes that you lead or people who you manage.” He added that each of us is impacted by some key event which is idiosyncratic to us. But managers who are clued in and care can sort of get a sense for it and help us through it.
This starts with trying to find out what are the things at the workplace that frustrate them, make their job harder or cause confusion. Do employees really know how they are being measured or rewarded? Do you offer resources to help workers with problems that they may be having outside of the workplace? Many pallet companies have invested in hiring outside experts, such as chaplains who can help workers navigate life issues.
When it comes to creating a better work environment, do you as a manger stop to consider what that employee thinks or values? Nadella advised that the biggest source of innovation in a company is its people. He commented, “Empathy. To me, what I have sort of come to realize, what is the most innate in all of us is that ability to be able to put ourselves in other people’s shoes and see the world the way they see it…So, I would say the source of all innovation is what is the most humane quality that we all have, which is empathy.”
Powerful forms of empathy make people feel recognized, safe, connected to others, and empowered to manage conflict kindly and inclusively.
Good leaders don’t just solve a problem. They try to smooth the path for their people. That requires empathy – the ability to understand the wiring, needs and pace of people, and respond accordingly. You may have to do your homework on your people to understand their strengths and challenges. You may occasionally have to push back on the leaders above you and tell them what won’t fly with your team.
There are two types of empathy. With cognitive empathy you understand someone’s perspective. You understand and you’re willing to engage with that understanding. Affective empathy is based on emotion – when someone cries with you, for example, or shares your anger. The best leaders have high cognitive empathy and low affective empathy: they can engage emphatically with employees, and their feelings and frustrations, without being carried into the emotional turmoil.
Empathetic leaders are inclusive. You don’t just see another person’s perspective. You recognize them as an individual and what makes them tick.
Good leaders make subordinates feel safe. They’re seen and valued for their role on a team and what they contribute.
Angela Cox noted in an article on Entreprenuer.com, “Managers who lead with empathy are more likely to develop high levels of trust with their employees, foster a culture of transparency and proactively ask questions to understand contexts better.”
When employees share information and ideas freely, and leaders listen with the intent of understanding, leaders are empowered to influence, impact and inspire. If you want the best work from your people and want to encourage innovation, develop empathy as a leadership skill.
