January is the time that many people talk about New Year’s resolutions. According to Statistic Brain, a little more than half of Americans make New Year’s resolutions, but only 8% of those who do succeed in meeting their goals. Why do so many people fail to make successful change? The same questions can be asked about business challenges and weaknesses. When we know the changes we need to improve our business, why don’t we do it?
I have only kept one New Year’s resolution that I have made in my life, and that is about six years ago when I decided to start recycling bottles, cans and waste paper. And I am sure if I was married that the three paper bags in my kitchen area for separating recyclables would go away.
Recently while talking with a pastor friend, I stumbled upon something that I should have known but hadn’t really considered. The epiphany was that there is a big difference between coaching and mentoring. He said that coaches are about the goal and the outcome, and mentors are gurus who focus on the relationship and long-term learning.
Good coaches ask questions and hold you accountable to the desired goals that you set. Good mentors listen well and give advice as needed and are a sounding board to analyze ideas. Good coaches focus on the individual and their long-term growth. Good mentors focus on performance and achieving measurable goals through an established action plan.
Good mentors facilitate with no specific agenda while good coaches use a specific agenda to drive toward a desired result. Good mentors need a solid relationship with the other person to build trust. Good coaches may not be local, and they may not know the people very well that they coach. Their connection is about achieving an end goal – nothing more, nothing less.
The real personal outcome and satisfaction for someone with a mentor is being heard, affirmed and learning new things. What people get from a coach is better performance and help in achieving a goal. Usually, it is best to at least relate to the coach at some level or like them. But this isn’t always necessary.
I have mentored a lot of people in my life as a lay minister and youth worker. But I am not the best coach. I can encourage and cheer people on. But I am not the best when it comes to setting goals and holding other people accountable. I can do that for myself, but it is hard for me to do that for others. And the reason is that I tend to be so relationship focused and committed for the long run.
Upon reflection, I believe that my previous resolutions would have been different if I had hired a life coach. Why? Well, we can all use people to ask hard questions and help us measure our progress in achieving goals. Most people are slackers when it comes to something. Sure, you may be great about your daily run or your diet. But you may struggle to stay connected to family or focus on long-term business issues. Others struggle with clutter or organization. It all depends on the person, and your business issues are almost always connected to your personal issues as a person and a manager or leader. Or you may be a workaholic who can never seem to achieve the right work/life balance.
Why pay for a life coach? For somebody to do a good job, you need somebody who treats the role as a responsibility not a favor. Plus, asking your friends or family to do it can put a strain on your relationship. Sure, there are apps out there that can help. But I believe the process works best if you can have a smart, gifted, trained coach who can interact with you and help drive performance for you or your employees.
And as true with almost anything in life, you get what you pay for and not all “life coaches” are created equal. It is best to get somebody who has been trained as a life coach and has successfully taken other clients through a process that works. Almost anyone can call themselves a life coach. You may want to find someone who has been licensed or accredited by the International Coach Federation (www.coachfederation.org), Coach U (www.coachu.com), Coaches Training Institute (http://www.coactive.com/).
The coach does not have to be local since many sessions are conducted via Skype or over the Internet. You want to look for a coach who listens well and has sufficient experience in the coaching process. If you are looking for coaching through specific challenges, sometimes it is good to have a coach with a specific background or training. But keep in mind that a coach is not a consultant who provides expert advice. That is more like a mentor or guru. A coach should be willing to provide a free consultation for at least 15-20 minutes. And that is where you can tell if the person is a good fit and seems accomplished enough to drive the process. More than anything their ability to ask questions is what guides the process because you are the one setting the agenda. Your coach may be friendly, but they are not your friend. This person is there to drive results and must be willing to tell the truth to achieve it.
What are some signs that you need a life coach? Are there things you have tried to fix in the past and just can’t seem to conquer? Do you lack a clear vision for success or does your vision seem too big and overwhelming to succeed? Are your life patterns and choices not supporting your goals? Are you frustrated, irritable and a pain to be around most of the time? Is your self-confidence not where it should be? Does your company face insurmountable challenges? Are you craving more purpose in your work? Or are you in a huge transition point and struggling to make necessary changes? Do you always feel overly stressed and anxious about the future? If you answered yes to at least a few of these questions, you are probably a very good candidate for a life or business coach.
Life coaches are not just for problem employees any more. They are a great way for your best people to get the best out of themselves. Most life coaches use some sort of discovery process fueled by key questions to identify areas that need to be improved. And the process may take less time than you thought. Usually, a good coach can achieve some positive results with only 2-4 sessions per month at 20-60 minutes per session. So in possibly less than an hour a month, you can be held accountable and guided through making real changes in the other 719 hours in a typical 30-day month.
Really coaching can be good for anyone who is motivated to create a better life. What coaches are experts at is guiding you through changing behavior. And that can be more valuable sometimes than just a lot of new information or advice.
The price tag may surprise you. A good life coach may charge $50-300 per hour or more. But if you achieve the results, it can be worth the price. Another idea would be to get one of your personnel trained in this process and have them use a coaching process with employees. But this can complicate relationships and should only be done if you have the right person who has some degree of business management and personal relationship separation from those they are coaching.
Have you read things in the Pallet Enterprise or thought about issues that you know you need to address but keep on ignoring? Have you made the necessary changes to help position your company for success in the future? Remember that the questions you ask yourself can shape your life. My challenge for readers in 2017 is to identify two major things that they know need to change in either their personal lives or business and get to changing them. And if you are smart, you will probably look for help along the way.
